If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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