i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
