Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
birth control should be required to get into college
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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