Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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