God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
