I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
