Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
