maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
No subtext here. People are naked.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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