Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
