Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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