i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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