Someone shit on the floor
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
