If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
