whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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