you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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