i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize