My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
