wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
