I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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