Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
