the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
