LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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