he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
