Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
