I don't think brook has ever known best
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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