Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
