My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
