They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
