This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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