giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
