I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
