I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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