Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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