Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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