I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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