So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
