Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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