Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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