dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
