there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
