Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize