it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
