Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
