I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
