Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
