so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize