i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The adults are the big ones right?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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