Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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