I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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