I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
These tits shall not be calmed
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
