so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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