i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
