i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
