I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
