i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
