Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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