Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
