how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
