porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
