my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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