Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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