Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
