How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
