That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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