I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
