so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize