You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
