K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
