WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Boobs are out for the taking
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
