i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize