you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I have aggressive nipples.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
