Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
