So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize