Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
